First of all - let’s not give any unsolicited advice.
No “if I were you”, no “this and that helped me”.
In many cultures, we have a tendency to compare suffering.
Someone says they are going through a hard time, and we immediately reply:
“That’s nothing, I had it worse and I managed”.
Or the other way around – we offer a “golden” piece of advice that is intended to help, but in reality only distances us from the other person.
Meanwhile, a person with depression doesn’t need ready-made solutions,
but rather mindfulness, understanding, and presence.
Instead of advising – listen and notice
A simple sentence is enough:
“I see you. What do you need? What can I do for you”?
This gives a sense that someone is truly there.
We don’t have to have answers for everything – it’s enough that we are present.
The “flip side of the coin” technique
The so-called flip side of the coin technique can also be helpful.
Instead of focusing on what someone hasn’t done,
let’s notice what they have achieved despite everything.
Example:
- “I’m doing nothing, I’m useless”.
- “But you got up today, you brushed your teeth, you put on your glasses. That is already a battle won”.
What seems obvious to a healthy person
can be a massive effort for someone with depression.
So, let’s appreciate the small steps and not demand miracles.
Let’s not judge by appearances
Many myths about depression still persist,
that it only affects people who are overweight, elderly, “unkept”, or unsuccessful.
This is not true.
Depression does not discriminate.
Beautiful, young, famous, and wealthy people also suffer.
One only needs to look at Matthew Perry from “Friends”
or Robin Williams - a man who made millions laugh,
while struggling with deep depression himself.
That’s why it’s so important to talk
To talk about the fact that depression exists.
To talk about our own difficulties, without shame or pretense.
Because when we say: “Yes, I am struggling, but I am moving forward”,
we give someone else hope that they can cope too.
Education and openness are the first step
Depression is not a weakness.
It is an illness that can and must be treated.
And support - even the simplest kind, full of empathy and tenderness -
can sometimes save someone’s life.
